I beg you not to be that conference / hobby group / profession that reaches out to underrepresented people and essentially blames them for not doing more free and emotional labor to make your thing more diverse.

If it’s not diverse, please look at why it’s not appealing or drawing people in, before asking the same people who constantly are asked to fix diversity through stomaching harassment and unpaid work to fix it for you.

(Saying this because I can’t say it to my dad, bless him. I kinda went off on how frustrated I am with astronomy groups in the area which are mostly made up of pushy, wealthy, older white guys. He asked me why I don’t join a board of one and fix it. It’s not like I already work two jobs, coach, mentor, am a toastmasters officer, speak professionally around the world, volunteer in the infosec space…)

Anyway, stop making it everyone else’s problem to fix but yours. Your group or event is probably not diverse because it’s being made financially or logistically inaccessible, your members are making crappy assumptions about newcomers, being pretentious, or hitting on people, or you’re bad at informing other people you exist and are approachable. That usually sums it up.

(He is totally one of those $600+ Dobso or you can’t even play guys, too and he doesn’t even realize it…. 😞😥)

I love my dad but I can’t say stuff like this to him, he won’t get it. So I’ll toot it to some other random dad who needs to hear it instead.

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@hacks4pancakes (as a dad): [ looks at feet, whispers quietly: ] ok. Your right. I see what you mean, I’ll try to do better. Sorry for ranting and not listening to you. [ rubs shoulder ]

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